7 Politik dan Lembu

Untuk yang sukar mengerti apa terma-terma jargon dalam politik.

FEUDALISM:
You have two cows.  Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.  You have to take care of all the cows.  The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.  They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers.  You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.  The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.  Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.  You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows.  The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it.  After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.  The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad.  The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows.  At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them.  Then it pays you not to milk them.  After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain.  Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

ANARCHY:
You have two cows.  Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.  You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.  You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.  The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.  The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.  Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM:
You have two cows.  The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM:
You have two cows.  They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes them and denies they ever existed.  Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering,intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

COUNTER CULTURE:
Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man.  You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes.  The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

JAPANESE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  You give the milk to gangsters so they don't ask any awkward questions about who you're giving the milk to.

 Tambahan oleh PoP -Soul

Malaysian Democracy
Too many cow scandal. And both partisan acting like a cow.

Sumber : http://www.laughbreak.com/lists/cow_politics_101.html

16 maNusia jeNtera kot..

jom tengok wayang esok awak. ajakan seseorang kepada teMbikar Labu. citer ape you? ala, citer yang Tomok berlakon tu la. ??? My status: Idle..

Citer Manusia Jentera a.k.a Mantera. ah sudah. tajuk pun agak pelik. ingatkan citer seram.

27 Selamat Hari Sifu

Seriously... gua lupa hari ni Hari Guru... gua dah 14 tahun tinggalkan sekolah. Hari tu Hari Ibu orang cakap haram, Hari Guru tak jumpa lagi mana2 ustaz cakap haram. Tapi dikesempatan ini gua nak mengucapkan jugalah SELAMAT HARI GURU buat SEMUA guru2, bekas2 guru dan bakal2 guru di seluruh Malaysia.

10 Demagogue

http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/198058

The resignation of Tunku Abdul Aziz Tunku Ibrahim as DAP vice-chairperson may escalate into a war of words after Tunku Aziz called DAP secretary-general Lim Guan Eng “biadap” (uncouth) and a “demagogue” in an MCA-owned daily.

Persoalan???.

Surat khabar MCA yang mana satu ? Malaysiakini kena bagi source yang benar...jangan main letak jer...

The Star ?Nanyang Siang Pau  ? China Press ? Guang Ming Daily ?

 Comment paling win adalah seperti gambar di bawah

Maksud Demagogue ? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demagogy


Kalau tak faham - boleh telefon Prince of Noob....

13 Troll majlis orang lain

Gua kali ni nak backup Najib. Lu orang nak cakap apa lantak. Entry sebelum ni gua kutuk segelintir Melayu, kali ni gua nak kutuk segelintir Cina. Time ni Najib kat Britain, Greenwich bagi menghadiri program sepetang PM bersama pelajar dan rakyat Malaysia. Lepas tu ada la 2 malaon bikin hal, konon2 nak troll majlis PM tapi hanya menyerlahkan kebangangan diri sendiri.

25 Tayangan perdana senaman jubur

Melayu macam ni betul2 memalukan kaum. Dah la dok tulis cerita tak betul pasal kaum lain mcm kat entry anak jati sarawak Tembikar Labu kat sini, ni dok tonggeng2 bontot kat depan rumah orang kenapa? Hari tu jual burger aku boleh terima lagi. Ni siap buat senaman lucah apa hal? Gua pun ada jugak tak puas hati dengan Ambiga tu tapi mcm ni ke budaya org Melayu?

21 diScrimiNate!

maybe you all akan nampak ia seperti kenegerian, racist or ape-ape yang seumpamanya. I juz stand here for the right!.

awal-awal pagi, beberapa kenalan hantar petikan akhbar Harian Metro Ahad kat aku. agak kelakar pun ada tetapi lebih dari itu ia merupakan isu sensitiviti, penghinaan secara terang!

1 Neutral

Saya bersikap neutral terhdap politik dan bola sepak. Dan Tahniah Manchester City kerana mengakhiri kemarau 44 tahun. Dan seperti biasa, banyak peminat-peminat kelab yang lain butthurt.


Contoh untuk mocking dengan penuh ketamadunan terdapat di link ini..

http://www.kayafm.co.za/2011/10/podcast/jeff-moloi-podcast/sorry-sorry-man-united/

Saya seperti pernyataan di atas bersikap neutral bola sepak.

Team Mana nie?

24 Isteri solehah harta suami paling berharga

Hari Isnin... hari yg paling tidak disukai oleh ramai orang. Hari ni malas cerita politik, harap2nya lah. Sebelum ni aku pernah post pasal bini orang bikin berahi. Dan aku pernah cerita jugak pasal isteri impian para suami. Secara zahirnya, mereka ini adalah orang2 yg wajar dicontohi oleh para suami dan isteri. Masing2 menjaga maruah pasangan masing2, orang tengok pun sejuk je mata memandang.

22 Apabila lintah masuk bontot

2 tahun lepas ada tragedi seorang murid meninggal kerana lintah masuk dubur, sumber Berita Harihari. Hari ni gua baca lagi ada berita lintah masuk dubur lagi melalui asshole lepas seorang budak berumur 7 tahun tangkap ikan kat paya. Lepas ni kalau boleh elakkan diri daripada main dekat kawasan2 yg banyak lintah atau pacat. Tapi gua bukan nak cerita sangat pun pasal lintah masuk bontot ke apa.